oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
