Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
