Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
