Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
