In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Randomize
