My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
