i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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