Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My dick has a subreddit
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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