Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize