Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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