Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
