I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
