i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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