Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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