I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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