Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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