the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize