haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
