That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize