He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
