And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
