Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My balls are so social today.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
