you guys were way drunker than both of me
false alarm. still invincible.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
