Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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