woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
