i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
