From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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