is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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