Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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