She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
