I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
