i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
