Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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