Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
