I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Walk of Shame today included voting.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
