I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
