he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
