I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize