Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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