i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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