it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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