It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize