dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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