I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
