Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize