that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
