yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
tell me about the eggs
Randomize