Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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