dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
