That's intense
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
