...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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