He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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