I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
