Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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