we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
