well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
