Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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