if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
