reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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