Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
