I puked a lego.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Found your dick twin last night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
