i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
