I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
