lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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