she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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