I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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