I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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