It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
