You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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