nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
