Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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