Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize