covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize