true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize