Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
