i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
