Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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