bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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